A bold proposal: an American physicist suggests detonating a nuclear megabomb to "cool down the Earth."

How can we save the Earth from global warming? Physicist Andrew Haverly suggests detonating a colossal atomic bomb. If you think this is just dark humor – that if you don't want eternal summer, you will get a nuclear winter instead – then no, this is a legitimate article. The bomb, however, needs to be very large, the researcher warns. He even kindly points out a spot on the map where it would be best to blow it up.

THREE MILLION HIROSHIMAS

Global warming is caused by carbon dioxide. Normally, the ocean absorbs carbon dioxide. But recently, it seems the ocean has stopped taking in what we release into the air. We need to somehow invigorate the ocean, motivate it, perhaps.

There are rock formations that excel at absorbing carbon dioxide. It would seem logical to extract such rocks, spread them across fields and valleys, and happiness would ensue. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), this is expensive. But there is a solution, says comrade Andrew.

How about we detonate a bomb deep in the ocean, where there are basalt deposits? Basalt absorbs carbon dioxide very well. The explosion would disperse it throughout the ocean, and it would work!

According to the physicist's calculations, the bomb should weigh 81 gigatons. This way, we would instantly eliminate the carbon dioxide accumulated over the past 30 years. This would result in a sudden drop in the average global temperature by 1.5 degrees. Andrew estimates the project at 10 billion dollars, which, let's agree, is a small price for such astounding results.

For context, this would be a very powerful explosion. The famous Tsar Bomba, tested by the Soviets in the 1960s, also known as Kuzka's Mother, didn't even reach 60 megatons. The difference between "mega" and "giga" is significant, and in general, Andrew wants to explode a thousand Kuzka's Mothers at once. Or three million Hiroshimas.

He even found a location, near the Kerguelen Islands in the Indian Ocean, not far from Antarctica. The area is remote, clean, and untouched by humans, and this situation must, of course, be urgently rectified.

A significant part of Haverly's article is dedicated to assurances of how safe this is. The radiation would be quickly absorbed by the water, and local ecosystems would not be harmed. Yes, it is radical, but "I suggest we reconsider our views."

Reconsidering is indeed a good idea.

The ocean has stopped absorbing what we release into the air. We need to invigorate the ocean somehow.

Photo: Shutterstock.

MODEL ENGINEER

Doctor of Biological Sciences, Professor of Biological Evolution at Moscow State University, Andrey Zhuravlev, sighs heavily: yet another sculptor of reality is eager to create a beautiful new world. How many have there been already?

- 35 years ago, oceanographer John Martin from the Moss Landing Marine Laboratories in California declared: "Give me half a tanker of iron, and I will ensure you a glacial period," says Andrey Zhuravlev. The idea was that spraying iron, which is scarce in the ocean but essential for the growth of phytoplankton, would cause an explosive increase in their population; rapidly multiplying algae would draw significant amounts of carbon dioxide from the seawater, and the same volumes of atmospheric gas would dissolve, leading to cooling. Several tankers have been sprayed since then. The results were as expected: following the "bloom" of phytoplankton, the entire trophic chain began to "flare up." Ultimately, all the carbon needed for photosynthesis soon returned in the same amounts...

The problem with countless projects aimed at "remaking nature" is not merely that they are expensive, sensational, etc. As a rule, they lead to the opposite result, of which their authors are often unaware.

- It is unlikely that the author of the new "nuclear winter," Andrew Haverly, being an ordinary computer "modeler," understands the phenomena he is dealing with. Apparently, he is not even aware that basalt explosions have historically led to some of the most significant warming events on Earth, says Andrey Zhuravlev.

Unfortunately, there are no quick fixes, and nothing can be accomplished in one fell swoop, concludes the scientist:

- The entire history of the Earth shows that carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases can quickly (over tens of thousands of years and even faster) fill the atmosphere, but removing them back takes millions and tens of millions of years.

In the press and scientific blogs, this exotic proposal is being widely discussed, but it seems no one supports it. For instance, Haverly's colleague, physicist Sabine Hossenfelder, reminds him that after the explosion, there will be a lot of water vapor. Which, unfortunately, is also a powerful greenhouse gas.

The author of the idea to detonate a nuclear megabomb did not assess the risks.

Photo: Shutterstock.

THE NAME IS LEGION

The deeper you go into the woods, the more firewood you find: as the idea of global warming captured minds, numerous projects aimed at saving Mother Nature emerged. Fortunately, their obvious clumsiness has saved Mother Nature not from warming, but from these very projects.

Here are just a few.

VERY HIGH STACKS

Industrial chimneys need to be extended upwards, into the stratosphere, by many tens of kilometers. Then the miasmas of civilization will end up up there, and the Earth won't get warmed. The authors do not realize that the weather is formed up to heights of tens, if not hundreds, of kilometers (we recently wrote about this), nor do they understand the consequences their idea will bring. However, they built a trial chimney four meters high. What is the point of such a demonstration when every rural boiler room already has structures dozens of meters tall is unknown.

BALLOONS WITH SURPRISES

Another option is to inflate balloons with our waste and shoot them into the beleaguered stratosphere. As they rise, the balloons will burst, and voilà, the job is done. Besides the fact that we (like in the previous option) are polluting the stratosphere, the question arises: who will collect the tons (and megatons) of thin balloon shells?

MAGICAL MIRROR

What if we place a mirror in space that reflects sunlight? The advantage is that such a mirror can be easily (probably) manipulated. If it gets cold, just turn the shutter sideways. There are even projects in China to cover one or two megacities with such a mirror. The problem is that at the edge of the shadow, where there will be a sharp temperature drop, powerful winds like tornadoes will arise. And that’s great! In the shade, it will be windy too.

BRILLIANT GROUP

And the last – but not the least – plan is to saturate (yes, you guessed it, the stratosphere) with tiny aluminum glitter. They will reflect sunlight. Supposedly, such glitter can remain suspended at altitudes of 20 kilometers for a very long time. That’s good. There is even a conspiracy theory suggesting that this is already being done. The global market is experiencing a severe shortage of glitter for makeup and other parties (you will be surprised; we did a whole investigation about this). Allegedly, there is a certain Secret Buyer who has bought it all up. And in California, a local community expelled a group of scientists who came to try this on a state-wide scale. What can one say? As if there isn't enough microplastic, we will be breathing aluminum dust. And yes, this still won’t save us from warming.

THE QUESTION REMAINS

So what should we do?

Level-headed and sober scientists urge not to panic and to proceed gradually, as Nature prefers. Reducing harmful emissions is clear. Acknowledging that Nature may have its own cycles, so it's not a fact that global warming is solely human-induced. Finally, gather specialists from various fields, including geologists, biologists, paleontologists, and, of course, physicists. And they should work honestly, not just for grants (let's not pretend – the hype around global warming is well-funded). It may turn